God is Real and He Loves Me; Nothing on Earth or Sky Could Make This Any Better

God has been taking me for a ride and cleaning up a lot of area’s where I have lack of trust in Him (sin).  It’s funny years ago I would actually read and watch debates on Apologetics to boost my faith.  Haha, that’s silly now.  I mean He’s right beside me RIGHT NOW.

Something else that changed; instead of talking about God in the 3rd person, now I’m including Him personally in my thoughts and conversations.

It’s amazing how real this is!!!  It gets better and better and better.  And I know there will be suffering, but He’s preparing me for everything according to His awesome perfect majestic plan!

THE GLORY OF HIS GRACE IN THE GOSPEL TO SEND HIS SON TO DIE FOR ME SO I CAN KNOW HIM.

(Seriously, it’s all real.  God is communicating with me DRAMATICALLY intimate.  I tried to prove God’s existence for years and now He entered my life so personally.  I mean helping me when I shop for groceries, looking at things online…..He’s right there with me….)

Oh, and the “therefore’s”…..priceless gems…

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How Bad do you Want Jesus? Where are Your Passions?

Is this similar to your passion for Him?  Do you want Jesus this bad?

Have you been knocking and seeking with all your might and strength in desperation?Have you been reading His Word and crying in prayer desperate for His Love?  Do you wake up asking God this; “how can I be more like You today Jesus!!?”

There is hope.  The path is narrow, but there is hope.  Faith is an amazing gift of love and we should respond in continuing repentance and growing in love towards Christ and others (none of us has all of the good fruits perfectly and repentance goes at different rates for different people; but we should be growing at some rate!)

The church has been polluted by preaching according to what people want to hear. The path is narrow and there are sadly many people feeling secure who aren’t really on solid ground.

Always be willing to examine yourself for fruits.  Galatians gives us a great model:

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.  For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”

2 Corinthians 13:5

“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!”

How bad do you want Jesus Christ?  How desperate are you for Him?  What have you given up in your life for Him lately?

Dear God, A Love Letter

It’s been an amazing journey getting to know You.  I know that you knew me before I was even born.  In all my sin and rebellion against You that I would pursue for years in Your all knowing power, love, and grace You still for some reason I won’t ever fully understand on this earth, decided to still allow me to be born into this world.

At first you gave me that mustard seed of faith, and it kept me going.  You knew how much I could handle, and never put any obstacle in my path that I wouldn’t be able to cross in Your grace.  Little by little you revealed to me more about Your character and how powerful and almighty You are.  For years I feared Your judgement, knowing I deserved every bit of it.

Then you introduced me to Your Son, Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the King of the Old Testament that all prophesy and so much more pointed to in faith and hope for redemption and forgiveness.  Oh Lord how I have all rebelled against you.  I knew not to eat of the fruits of disobedience and did anyway in hopes of making myself greater, just as Lucifer and the other fallen angels did. In my sin I tried desperately to blame it on others and not take responsibility.  Though I was tempted, I pointed my faith away from you.  No amount of pages can I possibly write down all I have done against You.  It’s hard to look back at the sin, but I know I must at times to appreciate the love and grace that You have poured upon my very being and soul.

Even when lacking so much faith and having very bad sin addictions and habits, You still taught me.  You led me to an amazing church where I met some amazing people in the youth group that I still talk to and love with all my heart to this day.  Thank you so much for those people I’m thinking of right now, please bless them just as you have me, and the new brothers and sisters in Christ I am meeting and loving now.

You gave me a passion for reading and learning the history of the world, religions (false ones!), science, mathematics, physics, and the beauty and order of this world.  You gave me solid faith that there was a Creator from my studies.  I could see the markings and fingerprints of an Almighty Master Architect/Designer.  I see You in nature; the tree’s, the animals I’ve loved, the patterns of storms to the design of a seashell.   You put thorns in my flesh to keep me separated from the world in many ways, especially socially.  You worked so much sin to good in the end all to give You the glory You deserve.  How beautiful is Your masterpiece!  And how much sorrow that I trampled upon it and burned it to the ground.

I pleaded like Paul for years for You to take these thorns out of my flesh.  The social issues, the anxiety and depression, the hopelessness, the hours and days I spent alone with my mind going in hellish circles of despair.  Yet through it all You had a plan.  You didn’t enjoy watching me suffer.  You knew in the end the joy would overshadow all of it.  I still go through trials and temptations Lord but I know that they will make me stronger in my faith and courage to profess the Gospel.  Oh how sweet is Your gift to the world!  The infinite love and generosity you have given me in spite of spitting upon Your master creation!  I’m so sorry I did that Lord!  You know in my heart I really am sorry I didn’t trust you!  You showed me my sin and I cut myself over and over hating my flesh.  I wanted to die.  I couldn’t live with myself.  I had to escape.  So again I didn’t trust you and I went to worldly things like alcohol to escape the horror of knowing what I did to You after You have done so much for me!  You are Holy Lord, how can I even be in Your sight!!  I shake and tears come to my eyes as I write this Lord.  How much easier it would have been if I had only surrender to you earlier.  But again, in my sin you watched over me, the Great Shepherd protecting a sheep with broken legs that most would toss aside.

Through all that I was bruised but not broken.  With amazing grace you put me back together and restored my body, soul, and spirit.  You gave me the faith and wisdom to stand up!  Here I stand!  Oh how I wish to proclaim to the entire world what love and grace You have poured upon me; my cup overflows with more than I could ever dream of.  You gave me a spirit of repentance and wisdom so that my mind began to be renewed and I saw things from a higher point of view on that mountain.  And how I will storm that mountain in Your Holy Name!!!  Satan is under my feet as YOU have given me the power and authority to defeat his attacks against me and my brothers.  The great battle that’s been going on for thousands of years; I’m now in the middle of and to most it seems humorous for a poor sheep like I am to be fighting against the mightiest of foe’s who hate You and all of Your creation.  Here I stand with a steady hand against the terror upon me.

I look back in Your Word and see people like David, trusting in You with no doubt, standing against the mightiest of men and conquering.  So will I with Your strength, ride on Your wings of power and might, smashing evil under Your feet.  Who can be against on who is under the King of Kings!!!  The war isn’t over but it does seem to be coming to a close.  Your original masterpiece that was torn, is now even more beautiful than before.  Your love, grace, power, might, and so much more are shown in You sending Your only Son to die for me!!  I am a creation of you that turned against You.  It’s the greatest mystery why You would send Your Son Jesus Christ, Your most prized Love that now sits on the right side of You, to be humbled and even enter this torn creation, and to suffer!  Jesus You suffered so much for me, a broken and rebellious sheep that would continue to sin even after saving me from eternal damnation!  How Amazing is my God!!!

The precious blood of the Son of God, nailed up and mocked by me and my brothers in sin.  How did it come to this.  I look back to the beginning in the garden.  I had everything God.  You gave me everything and only asked me not to do one thing.  I am so ashamed now just like I was when I covered myself with leaves after what I did against you.  Now Jesus who is perfect with no sin, is nailed on a wooden cross.  This is so horrendous and it’s my fault Lord.  Please let me take His place!  I let this happen, it’s my fault!!  I see there is nothing I can do.  But again, you worked the sin of man and the death of Christ to a greater good that will point to Your glory for all eternity.

How mysterious are Your ways Lord, forgive me for trying to understand You.  No amount of time or study could ever give me a true glimpse in Your holiness and wisdom.  Forgive me for all of the years of pride thinking I could figure out You and Your creation and even manipulate it towards my good.  I stored up things of this world that I now know will fade away and aren’t eternal, throwing away the true gems from You that are eternal.  There isn’t enough room in Your entire creation to write of all of Your wonders.  Forgive me for attempting that Lord, but my soul cries out with so many emotions as I look at what has, is, and will happen in this great story You have written.  How foolish I am to write inside of the Great Writer’s story!  Humble me Lord, my pride keeps biting at me.  Give me the grace to focus on You and to give you glory in all that I do!

I pause in this moment as I write.  I sense your peace and joy.  All of the pain had to happen to contrast your love and grace.  You are so Holy that You put Yourself inside of Your fallen creation just to save it!  What author in this world would die to save the characters in it’s story!!  I can’t understand it Lord!  Why did you save me?  I’m not even a grain of sand in this creation.  You gave me a soul.  You came down and saved me and gave me a family of other fallen creations to stand in awe of what You have done for us.  Let the entire creation praise you with all the energy we have that You have given us!!!  Thy will be done!!  HOLY, HOLY, HOLY, is the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, WHO WAS, AND IS, AND IS TO COME!!!!!!

I love you Lord.  And I can only say that because you gave me the gift to do so.  I just wanted to write this to You, my love letter to you.  Never let me forget.  Never let me stray away from Your path.  For Your glory please continue to stand by me and allow me to work for you in this story 🙂  I turn my eyes away from everything I used to desire Lord.  Take it all away.  If there is no wife for me that means I get more of You while I’m here.  I’ll leave that one up to You!  Either way I’m happy and overly content with joy knowing You love me, and that I love you.  Nothing can separate us.  The devil’s snares would have snatched me; the prowling lion waiting to pounce on me has been crushed.  And it’s all because you love me.  This story isn’t about how much I love you as I intended, but it’s all about how much You love me.  And I can not understand it, but I accept it and give all of myself to you Lord.  Every task you give me I treasure in delight.  How silly were those “rewards” I sought after to try and please men!!  How foolish I was Lord.  How I could sing of Your love for all eternity.  Let me do Your work while this story is still going.  Until the very end I now commit myself to You fully.  I serve only One Master and He is the Creator of ALL!!!  I’m an adopted son of the King of Kings!!!

Now I put my armor on You have provided me, and now I stand up for you and storm the mount!!  How great You are Lord!  This great battle I step into is so ferocious, but I already know the outcome!  Thank you for creating me and blessing me even after what I did against you!  Unite me with my brothers and sisters in Christ as we fight to the death for You in this temporal existence, knowing our treasure and King awaits us in Heaven.  Give us the power and might to fight for holy treasure to lay upon the feet of Jesus as we enter into eternity!  Open up the eyes of my heart Lord!  May the name of Christ be lifted up as we sing HOLY, HOLY, HOLY!!!  Give us the child-like trust and faith in THE LOVING FATHER of ALL CREATION!!!  Let us sing along with the millions of angels now praising Your HOLY NAME!!!  Am I crazy?  Maybe…  But I’m crazy in LOVE!!!

Deep breath….here we go Jesus, I’m following Your lead!!!

(ps: and special thanks to my family and friends who have stood by me through all of this and continue to bless me with their love and support!  I pray that you all receive all of the blessings God has bestowed upon me and even more!!!)

A Biblical View of Mathematics, The Fingerprints of God! (And a Short Testimony)

I’ve been so blessed for God to reveal so much of His nature and “fingerprints” in Mathematics and Geometry (some refer to it as “Sacred Geometry”).  Studying Phi and Pi are amazing along with Julia and Mandelbrot sets.  I was in such a state of depression for a few years and starting about a month ago I really begged God to reveal Himself to me and set me back on the path of righteousness.

There are so many articles and video’s on YouTube that explain all of this much better than me.  I’m just a middleman with this information and hope it helps give faith to others in God by looking at His creation and consciousness that created and maintains His creation.

Here is another fascinating article dealing with Mathematics from a Biblical point of view.  I would also suggest using Google to study Pi/Phi, “Sacred Geometry” (from a Biblical point of view) which shows how everything in the Universe follows Mathematical formulas and also how God’s consciousness is what created and maintains this Universe and how matter can’t exist without consciousness which proves scientifically that there is a Creator above us that our existence depends on.  I put a few other video’s in my previous post as I was just starting to put things together.  Send me a message if you want anymore good links.  Some video’s are like fish and have too many “bones” but still some good “meat” an you have to be careful of what you are watching as a lot of this the New Age movement uses in an evil way.  Even the Devil knows the Truth and perverts it to make us think that WE are gods and we control the Universe which is far from the Truth.  We depend on a Creator which is the Holy Trinity; Father, Son (Jesus Christ), and the Holy Spirit.  Even numerology proclaims God’s fingerprints in the Hebrew Bible and the Greek (some Aramaic) New Testament.  It shows that no human being could possibly have written the Bible without Divine inspiration and these methods do not work on any other texts man has ever written.

Biblical View of Mathematics  (This is pretty deep and hard to grasp so for most I would recommend using Google and YouTube to research all the topics I’ve presented: Pi/Phi, the Golden Ratio, “Sacred Geometry,” Biblical Numerology, the Fibonacci Spiral, Metatron’s Cube and the Platonic Solids (especially the dodecahedron and cuboctahedron (the “perfect shape); vector equilibrium), the Flower of Life, Julia and Mandelbrot sets and fractals (that show infinite smallness and infinite largeness) that confirmed my vision at the age of 8).  Just be careful and pray to God for understanding and guidance before diving into these things as it’s very easy to get off track and go into Gnosticism and New Age Philosophy.

I will try and find some YouTube video’s it’s just I don’t want to promote something that isn’t fully Biblical as I’m having to go through a lot of junk to find the jewels 🙂

How to Become a True Christian! What it Really Means to “Repent” (20 min video)

It’s hard for me to talk to people socially at all so it troubles me when I find it very hard to talk to people about Christ, so I pray many here will take the time to watch this. Most churches want you to think as long as you are a good person and go to church you will be saved and do not talk about sin and repentance.  Many claim to be Christians will one day realize they never were, you must receive the Spirit of God and Him dwell in you.  Examine yourselves, this is an eternal life or death situation.

Luke 13:3-5 (Says it twice which mean’s it’s very important according to scholars) – “I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or do you suppose that those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them were worse culprits than all the men who live in Jerusalem? I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”

It takes more than just believing and being a “good” person!  The Bible says that even the demons belief, and that NO MAN is fully “good” and without sin.  We can’t earn our way into Heaven.  You must “repent” (changing/renewing your mind towards God and stop rebelling.) (It get’s deeper than that with more verses and very well laid out, please give this short 20 min video a chance at least to know what the Bible clearly says on the issue!) –

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMGvBOYa0k4

Drunken College Grad With Honors Terrorizes Neighbors in Underwear

Another great story for the grandkids..

Carpe diem – “Seize the Day”

And seize the day I did, drunk and in my underwear the night of my college graduation.  It was a nice sunny day and I had my robe on and listened to the guest speaker (Chuck Norris) at the graduation ceremony, having such relief that so many years of sitting in boring classes that seemed pointless was finally over!

It turns out I sleepwalk when drunk, or at least drunk on a certain type of wine.  After I got home I drank a bottle of wine (forgot the brand or type….and basically everything else until I woke up the next morning with a hangover in jail), then I went to sleep in my boxers, the way I normally go to sleep.  Then in my drunken amnesia, a scene straight out of “The Hangover” began to take place…

Ok so then I wake up in jail and I have paperwork in my little tub with a tiny bar of soap, a toothbrush (brand name “Bob Barker”….).  So with no explanation of why I am in jail, I decide to read these orange papers in front of me.  “Attempted First Degree Burglary – Felony”, and there was 2 of these.  I was shocked!  Well the next day they shackled me up, hands and feet and I went out of the jail, camera’s from the local/state news following me to transport in a van to go to court.  I find out I am facing 16 years in prison!  And I don’t remember anything!

My bond was set at $16k but my lawyer got it lowered to where I could get bonded out.  Then I get home and find out I was the highlight of the state news channel in North Carolina and South Carolina.  I went to the internet to see what it said.  “Drunken Grad Terrorizes Neighborhood Wearing Only Boxers.”  Apparently after going to sleep I woke up and wandered the neighborhood and got to a house and thought it was my own house but strangely there was a man inside, with a shotgun pointed at me.  So logically I go to pick up a lawn chair and throw it through the sliding glass door to try and scare this intruder out of my house.  That didn’t work and the police “followed my trail” whatever that means and found me near my house and took me to jail.

They realized eventually I wasn’t a burglar so I pleaded down to a misdemeanor and they determined I actually did think it was my own house and ironically I thought that man was breaking and entering into my house when it was me who was at least “breaking” (but not entering).

So it was on the 6pm and 10pm news in two states.  Then came the Facebook comments from the people at my University flaming me badly for giving the school a bad name.  What could I say?  I don’t know.  This is one of the reasons I stopped drinking.  I haven’t slept walked since.  If you google, you can find the original story.  You would probably need my name.  I might try to find it and post it.  It’s pretty hilarious actually.  They said I was in my boxers and they were all torn up and bloody.  I jumped a fence apparently when the cops were chasing me through the woods and got all cut up and broke my toe.  And the neighbor with the shotgun said he almost shot me as I started to walk in the doorway I had just broken, but there must have been a speck of sense/fear of getting shot so I did run away thank goodness.

So I did some community service, a few days in jail, and paid a lot of money to the court system and to the people I “terrorized.” to replace the things I damaged.  They also said I tried to open a few other neighbors doors and I pushed over someone’s BBQ grill and damaged it.

Kids, don’t drink and sleep.

This is my life, I have no secrets.  Laugh at my pain!!

(want to see the link?  here ya go )

 

And I do want to thank and praise Jesus Christ for saving me from my many sins, including these.  I really am a new creation in Him and while I do find humor in these things, I do want to share the amazing transformation Christ has done in my life.  I now have the blood of Christ that has washed away my sins and I have faith I am forgiven and a child of God and will praise Him for all eternity in Heaven!  I’m still not perfect, but He’s still working on me!