I wasn’t going to post this but it seems funny now to me. I was on a moped/scooter and was at a bar. The bar closed and I ended up getting in a fight outside and just about broke my nose.
Then there was a day about a week later…
I rode the scooter to the bar and after they closed I realized I was way too drunk to ride 5 miles to my house. So I had the bright idea of rolling my scooter in the woods so no one would see me and I could sleep the alcohol off for a while.
Apparently I wasn’t as hidden as I though… I woke up to a semi truck driver poking at me to see if I was alive and was calling the police. For some reason I was still on the scooter laid over with my helmet on. The police came and I called my mom to come pick me up, then my dad to come get the scooter since I couldn’t drive it at that point.
Now the embarrassing part: I crapped my pants. This was no ordinary poo, this was the end result of buffalo wings and a lot of dark beer in me. They actually felt bad for me. Another thing the cop said to my mom was “does he have any kids? He should get some, that should make him more responsible (Seriously? A drunk guy laying in a ditch who crapped his pants needs a kid?!)
So my dad got the scooter, I didn’t get any tickets. But that ride alone back to the house sitting on a towel with the windows down; that embarrassment and awkward ride home was just about punishment enough! Just imagine the situation. This semi driver pulls up to deliver something and he see’s me on the scooter like I crashed and might be dead!
And yes, I threw the pants away..