Find Young Girl Panties in Your Landry Basket What Do You Do??

So I did laundry at a friends house then about a week later when I got to putting them up I find the panties of what seems to be a 5 year old girls…  Hmm, should I try and return them?  Burn them?

I thew them away quickly so no one would ever witness me in possession of them.  Still was a very confusing situation.  I felt like Matt Damon there for a little while.

Chemistry; Exploring Synthetics (Alexandar Shulgin, Dirty Pictures)

(This video is great and lets you into the mind of one of the greatest minds of our time (you can watch it on youtube I think):  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1592855

I had a 3 year period before I was diagnosed and got on the right meds.  I was obsessed with finding either some cure or explanation to my condition.

I was involved with a group of people who bought and sold various chemicals.  Two people from that place are serving 20 year sentences for selling analogs of meth (if the Law is even Constitutional).

So I did test around 50 chemicals that 99%+ of the pulbic have no idea that exists.  Alexaner Shulgin was a genius who opened so many doors to new synthectic chemicals that were all designed to help people in many different ways.  Sadly the DEA raided Shulgin’s lab and he still struggles and we have an Einstein in our time with Chemistry and hes genius is being wasted.

It was a very strange 3 years.  I was trying to find answers to life with 50+ chemicals over those years and a lot of things changed.  I found some answers I wish I didn’t know.

But anyway, they recently made pretty much everything illegal but things like MXE (amazing depressant relief).

Oh well, at least medical marijuana is legal in 22 states now (2 legal for normal sale).  That and MXE could bring world peace.

But I don’t recommend taking research chemicals.. I almost killed my mom trying to shoot an imaginary alligator shooting a 16g shotgun through the floor.  The 5 days in mental lockup wasn’t fun either!)

Yet Another Drunken Story From My Past (probably the most embarrassing of all!)

I wasn’t going to post this but it seems funny now to me.  I was on a moped/scooter and was at a bar.  The bar closed and I ended up getting in a fight outside and just about broke my nose.

Then there was a day about a week later…

I rode the scooter to the bar and after they closed I realized  I was way too drunk to ride 5 miles to my house.  So I had the bright idea of rolling my scooter in the woods so no one would see me and I could sleep the alcohol off for a while.

Apparently I wasn’t as hidden as I though… I woke up to a semi truck driver poking at me to see if I was alive and was calling the police.  For some reason I was still on the scooter laid over with my helmet on.  The police came and I called my mom to come pick me up, then my dad to come get the scooter since I couldn’t drive it at that point.

Now the embarrassing part: I crapped my pants.  This was no ordinary poo, this was the end result of buffalo wings and a lot of dark beer in me.  They actually felt bad for me.  Another thing the cop said to my mom was “does he have any kids?  He should get some, that should make him more responsible (Seriously?  A drunk guy laying in a ditch who crapped his pants needs a kid?!)

So my dad got the scooter, I didn’t get any tickets.  But that ride alone back to the house sitting on a towel with the windows  down; that embarrassment and awkward ride home was just about punishment enough!  Just imagine the situation.  This semi driver pulls up to deliver something and he see’s me on the scooter like I crashed and might be dead!

And yes, I threw the pants away..

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Quitting Smoking – It’s a Lot Easier than You Think! (Great Book)

Allen Carr’s “Easy Way to Stop Smoking” is really good if you want to stop smoking, or really quit anything that isn’t benefiting you when will power alone just won’t cut it.

“About the Author

Allen Carr was a chain-smoker for over thirty years. In 1983, after countless miserable attempts to quit, he discovered what every smoker dreams of-an easy way to stop smoking. Today, his method is taught in over 150 cities and his books have topped bestseller lists in nine countries. Carr’s Easyway method has the highest success rate of any clinically evaluated method. An estimated ten million smokers have quit using his simple, drug-free approach.”
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This book is rational and shows you that you need almost zero will power to quit.  Those who smoke have delusions that the nicotine causes and all it takes is some deep thinking on why you smoke, how it makes you feel before, and realizing how the addiction works.  After understanding some of these things it’s really amazing, the desire to smoke naturally goes away.  All the sudden the things start to taste bad, you go hours without even thinking about it.  Then you just decide which one is your last one and if you read the book well it’s an almost guarantee you will quit cold turkey.

Just from looking it up on Google/YouTube I found 2 you tube clips; both Ashton Kutcher and Ellen Degeneres quit after reading the book. (If the book doesn’t give you the motivation, just remind yourself if Ashton Kutcher can quit, anyone can :P)

I just wanted to pass this useful info onto you guys because I know it works because it worked for me, and I’ve tried quitting countless times.  I even went back one time after quitting for 2 years.  But after reading this I can’t see myself ever putting nicotine into my body again.
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I’m also on a new diet and working out too; it’s really giving me energy and well-being!  I might make a post of my 2 diets; one for gaining muscle and one for cutting fat without loosing muscle.  I took some fitness classes in college and I’ve spent the past few weeks calculating all kinds of foods/diets and done hours of research finding the right ratio’s of protein fat/carbs for each one.  And I’ve been getting great results 2x the time I expected so it’s working out well.  Any restaurants want to give me free food for life if I claim I ate your food while loosing 20lbs?!
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Be safe, take care of your body, and keep training that mind; and always surround yourself with laughter and happy people!
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To Seceed or Not to Seceed…(Was Slavery Really the Cause of the Civil War?)

“When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, “This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know,” the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how holy the motives. Mighty little force is needed to control a man whose mind has been hoodwinked; contrariwise, no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything — you can’t conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.” 
-Robert Anson Heinlein “

I’m currently researching a lot on this topic.  I haven’t learned enough to have too many opinions so I’ll keep it short for now and post a few links to think about.

I say we go back to this (minus the slavery). The Federal government isn’t going to lose strength. Our right to own rifles and shotguns isn’t going to stop a tyrannical government the size of the US if it got to that point (isn’t going to take much more stripping away of our freedoms in exhange of safety before that happens).  You have to ask yourself: are you willing to deny your allegience to the United States if it crosses a certain line? -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confederate_States_of_America

And the flag with the X has a lot of racial stigma attached so let’s just remember this flag:

It seems there were slave owners both North and South and the Union used anti-slavery as an excuse to take power and control over these states that didn’t want to be a part. So now that there isn’t slavery (apart from the NCAA  ) why can’t we re-start this? It’s because slavery had nothing to do with the causes of the Civil War…

Interesting history-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonnie_Blue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republic_of_West_Florida

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confederate_States_of_America (minus the slavery, just think about it)

I am cautious to even post anything with the X Confederate flag, just because people instantly close their minds off to the discussion and bring racism into the issue, but I found this link interesting - Confederate History – Dispelling the Myths

I won’t even get into gun control, but I liked this quote :) :

“The philosophy of gun control: Teenagers are roaring through town at 90MPH, where the speed limit is 25. Your solution is to lower the speed limit to 20.”

- Sam Cohen; inventor of the neutron bomb

The Link’s of Humor and Sadness

So many of the greatest comedians grew up in tough situations.  Many were bullied, didn’t have supportive parents, didn’t have friends or other relationships.  I’m no comedian, but I do feel like I understand the feeling of comedy being the only outlet to escape the overwhelming pain and sadness life seems to constantly dish out on many of us.  And over time you almost develop a bi-polar/dual personality where around other people you joke around and make everything seem ok, but it’s really just covering up what’s really going on inside.  I know I go through many stages of denial, then eventually things just get overwhelming and I feel kind of like I do right now.

I am grateful for being at the point in my life I can laugh a little about things.  But man some deep things are really getting to me.  I got over the attention-seeking suicidal talk years ago, and even the daily binge drinking to try and escape everything.  I’m tired.  I’m 30 with no substantial relationships.  I have a few acquaintances and family members to casually talk to.  But really right now this computer is my best friend, and we don’t even like each other that much.

The whole Aspergers thing is such a heavy burden.  It’s like I look at myself from outside and see all this potential and I should have a family by now, a decent job (not figuring in the economy, but you get the point).  It’s so hard to even know how to be friendly to people and when I do I never “click” with people.  Everyone else herds together in social groups but the problem is there is no social group in my category.

I’m only 30, can I really go on like this another 30 years?  60 years?  Ha, I’m having trouble just getting through tonight, and the whole “one day at a time” stuff just doesn’t work for me.  Trying to figure out all my problems I have trained myself to be such a selfish person. I try to trust that God will work things out, but my faith is so weak most of the time.  I get the diagnosis for Aspergers and I think everything will be fixed and it only get’s more complicated.  I go back to my old church and become a member and expect to make all these new friends and that doesn’t work out either.  So many things are held right in front of me that I can’t grasp and I can’t help but envy things, then I hate myself for envying.  Shouldn’t I just be happy for others?  Shouldn’t I look past my own troubles and realize daily that this life is so short and I have eternal life in Heaven with Christ who died for my sins and spared me from eternal separation from Him?  Why can’t I keep that realization?  Why can’t I force myself?  Why doesn’t God force me?

Blah, listening to depressing 90′s alternative rock isn’t helping.  There’s my boo hoo feel bad for me rant for the month.  I’m going to go punch something and feel sorry for myself for a bit.

Don’t be selfish like me and envy what other’s have.  Be grateful for what you have and seek the glory of Jesus Christ in all that you do.

Local Man Almost Raped by Mentally Ill Midget

I’m taking this one down after a day since I still live around a few people who might be able to figure out the little person involved.  There aren’t a whole lot in my town ya know… (I’ll re-post it once I move or something and add details, ones that still remain after I binged drank for years afterward to try and forget it).  I’m going to have to take a klonopin just to write through this.

Ok so I’ll be brief, I just don’t want to forget this as it is so strange and it just popped into my head in a dream so I’m going to write about it.

Of course there was alcohol, lots of it for everyone at this small get together.  Actually the “little person” had bought me a nice bottle of Crown Royal which I didn’t think too much about at the time other than she was a cool little person (but I did wonder how she convinced the liquor store she was over 21….).  So about five of us are very intoxicated and decide to go to sleep.  Well one guy was already almost passed out on the couch and this was a small apartment so I had a choice of sleeping in the bed with the little person or the floor.  I then made the mistake that haunted me for years, and for some reason only now it’s funny…but still traumatic (seriously, this is some PTSD stuff right here).

Ok so there I am in the bed with the midget (little person, whatever), I fall asleep for I’m guessing 15 minutes or so.  I wake up to a horrific site to a naked 4 foot beast on top of me.  This was no lucid dream, it was a real life nightmare of the worst kind.  I thought snakes and spiders were my biggest fears alongside death itself but there was a new contender in town.

I was in shock for a few seconds and by impulse I did all I knew to do, throw her off me.  And my calculations were off a bit due to my intoxicated state and the fact she weighed only about 1/3rd the average person.  She almost hit the ceiling I threw her so hard straight up to get off me, and thankfully I turned so she didn’t land right back on me, otherwise it could have accidentally turned consensual on my part (nice visual imagery huh?).

So nothing happened, but for months this individual carried around the boxers she took off me while I was asleep and carried them like a flag in a parade.  That was so embarrassing  and hard to prove nothing happened, I mean she did have my boxers.

Words of wisdom – I have no idea!  Don’t get drunk with midgets?  That doesn’t sound right, they can be quite fun to be around.  Ok well just don’t end up drunk in the bed with one who you even slightly suspect might try and rape you in your sleep (or any sized person for that.  And always remember nothing is free in this world, especially alcohol.

(And she was mentally ill, but I won’t go into that, it’s really sad so I don’t want this story to be personal to anyone but me).